We all know her…the friend who buys clothes and hides them in her closet; has a “secret” credit card her husband doesn’t know about; she never tells the complete truth when he asks how much an item really costs; constantly lending money to her extended family without him knowing.
We all know him too…putting his newly purchased clubs directly in the golf bag so his wife won’t know the difference; has separate bank accounts and other assets she can’t access; never volunteers the fact he footed the bill when he went out with friends; he borrows money from friends and family without her knowing.
Both of them are guilty of financial infidelity. This marital violation has the same emotional effect as a sexual infidelity. After the confession is made, the other party must address feelings of betrayal, distrust, anger, and disbelief (to name a few). This act is never the result of Choosing Love and is contradictory to the vows recited and written on your wedding programs.
1 Corinthians 13: 6-7 – Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
Prior to marriage and regularly thereafter, couples must communicate their views on how to spend, save and give money. You must not assume what you deem important is also important to your spouse. Completing a budget together every month, in an atmosphere that allows both parties to feel valued and secure, is a great deterrent to secrecy in your finances.
If I’ve got my eye on a pair of shoes (and I typically do every month…hahaha), I’m certain my husband knows about it before they’re purchased and our monthly budget reflects it. Being 100% honest about my intentions with our money and knowing I’ll get the same honesty in return, also has the added benefit of enhancing intimacy in our marriage. Does it shock you to know that most couples dealing with financial infidelity can’t remember the last time they made love? Make Choosing Love a priority in your relationship today!
